Posted on September 22, 2017
There are many different types of adult toys available, so you and your partner are sure to find something that suits you both. Sex toys can add spice and excitement to the bedroom relationship, especially if you have been together for a long time. You don’t need to use toys every time you make love, but having a variety of them available to you can help you to both enjoy sex more often.
Sex toys often allow people to play out a fantasy with their partner. Some will enhance foreplay and others make the sexual orgasm experience more intense. You can choose sex toys that help you to play out a fantasy, such as a roleplay situation. Some toys give specific pleasure to men, others give pleasure to women and some are even unisex so that both partners can use the sex toy to give pleasure to each other.
Before you introduce a sex toy into your relationship, you should discuss it first with your partner. Make sure your partner feels as comfortable with the idea as you do. Discussing it first can help reduce any inhibitions and can add anticipation to the excitement mix. You can even shop online together for toys that you will both enjoy in your relationship.
Men often love a cock ring – a sex toy that fits snugly around the base of the man’s penis, heightening the sexual experience and making the man experience a deeper, longer lasting orgasm. Women who love to get clitoris stimulation will love a butterfly vibrator. This vibrator is more like a sex toy than a traditional vibrator, as the women wears it like a belt or attaches the straps to her thighs, leaving her hands free to play with her partner. The butterfly vibrator sits neatly onto the clitoris and leaves the vagina area free for penetration, so the man can penetrate the vagina while the woman enjoys continual clitoris stimulation, leading to multiple orgasms for the woman.
Lesbians will often use a dildo, giving the effect of vagina penetration without having all the disadvantages of having a man in the room. Other couples find that the man loves to use a dildo or vibrator to penetrate his woman while watching the waves of pleasure take her over as part of the foreplay. Using a sex toy like this gives the man full control and he can give pleasure to his woman without coming too soon himself and ruining the lovemaking experience. Vibrators often give women much pleasure and the partner can move the vibrator in and out of the vagina to tease the woman into enjoying the experience far more.
Sex toys are fun to use with consenting adults. They add spice, excitement, and interest to the lovemaking experience, as well as making multiple or deeper orgasms possible. Sex toys can make sex better for both partners.
Posted on September 21, 2017
We love going to Toys R Us and of the toy stores, because the displays are just amazingly vibrant – all the counters and walls are draped with these bright, blazing primary colors with packages designed to capture the eye and hold your attention.
For us, it’s also fun going to couples’ stores where adult toys are sold, because the displays are strikingly the same, awash in primary colors with a few more bright pinks, reds and purples – though the imagery is typically far from family friendly.
We’re enthused that adult toys have become more mainstream, but we also know there are a lot of people out there who are reluctant to consider the use of what used to be called “marital aids” in their bedroom repertoire. Many couples won’t even set foot in an adult video or toy store for fear of what the neighbors might say, or just a feeling that those toys are only used by swingers or people obsessed with sex.
Well, having been sexologists for nearly a decade, we have a little news for you – your neighbors have probably already been there.
Toys can be a healthy and welcome addition to a couple’s bedroom practices, but we do understand the reasons why many people haven’t yet ventured behind the curtain to see what’s out there for them. So, we’ve assembled a few of the reasons we’ve heard over the years, with a slightly more enlightened view to counter them.
- Only Dirty People Use Them – There is a sense, you could even call it a mild prudishness that some couples have regarding sex toys. We attribute that to the compressed conflict that is sexuality in America. We use sex to sell cars, beer, Web site domains (thanks for the cheesecake, GoDaddy!) and even corn chips, but we are reluctant to address our own sexuality with the same openness. Sex isn’t dirty, unless, of course, thinking of it as dirty is a turn-on for you. The truth is, sex is healthy, fun and downright necessary for a strong, long-term romantic relationship. Being ashamed of enjoying sex is like being ashamed of eating to us. It’s a normal, healthy human activity when performed by consenting adults. So, if sex isn’t dirty, neither are toys used to enhance the sexual experience. If you’ve never gone to an adult toy store, the initial imagery may be a little shocking, but if you go in with an open mind, you might actually find yourself having fun before you know it.
- Toys Are Only for Masturbation – Over the years, as the sexual revolution took hold, women became empowered and chose to indulge their desires with or without a partner and stop being ashamed of their own sexuality. The sale and use of vibrators and other toys skyrocketed, and these toys became associated primarily with masturbation. But that is not their only function. In point of fact, many toys are far more effective and fun when they are wielded by a partner. Now, you don’t really need to be a sexologist to figure that out. A little basic geometry is all you need. When you compare the range of angles a woman can reach using her own arm to the range of motion by a partner who is correctly positioned, it’s clear that a partner can do a lot more with those toys to help a woman receive the full benefit of whatever implements she may have in the toy bag. In fact, many toys on the market today are specifically designed to be used by a partner and are practically useless for masturbation. So, wipe away that old connotation of toys. Some games are most definitely more fun when played by two.
- Toys Will Replace Me as a Partner – As a tandem of the above concern, some partners are concerned that some toys may deliver sensations and experiences that just cannot be matched by simple human to human interaction, and they fear that the toys will replace them in bed. Granted, there are some toys that are very ingenuitive these days, from swivel-headed vibrators to the Sybian (think of a sit-down vibrator run by an outboard motor), and we completely understand how they can be a little intimidating. There has been many a partner who has had to peel a woman off the ceiling after experiencing some of the more innovative devices on the market. But a toy cannot replace the sexual dynamic that two people can achieve together. The largest and most important sexual organ in the human body is the brain, and no matter the horsepower of the toy involved, they have yet to market anything with the imagination and creativity of the human mind. By joining your partner in the enjoyment of toys, you will be an inextricable part of their sexual lives and your role will be secure as long as you share your hearts and your imaginations together.
So don’t be afraid. Minds work best when they are open. And so do toys, once they are out of the box and in your bedroom.
Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird
Posted on September 20, 2017
Vibrators provide an enormous amount of pleasure for many people. A common problem that is often overlooked when buying a vibrator, especially expensive ones, is how well they are looked after when the fun is over.
As there are many vibrators to choose from, there may be different ways in which they need to be cared for. However, they generally need to be looked after properly – to keep them in good condition so that they work seamlessly for you and do not run the risk of building up unwanted bacteria which can be harmful to your sensitive areas.
First you need to clean the outside of your vibrators, immediately after use. The amount of bacteria that can be left on them could be damaging to you, so the best thing is to get a simple cloth (like a wash cloth) which should be clean and never used before and dampen it with warm water and a chemical free soap or something similar. The reason I say chemical free is because many people are sensitive to soap on the genital area which can leave traces on your vibrators causing irritation to you on the next use. Scrub off any visible residue, ensuring you clean all the little creases and crevices of your toy.
If you only have a regular soap which may contain certain chemicals and don’t want to run out and buy specific soap just for your vibrators, then just make sure you remove all the soap residue with warm water and your cloth so that there are no traces left. This is a good tip, because soap is one of the main causes of yeast infections when used in the vaginal region.
If you are really good and like to be very hygienic, then invest in a vibrator cleaning fluid which is designed specifically for vibrators use. You can get these anywhere online and usually from the same place you bought the vibrators in the first place. They do not cost much and are a great way of disinfecting your toys on a regular basis. They are used to clean the inside of your vibrators so if your vibrator is waterproof then you wont have as big a problem. If it is not waterproof then use the cleaning fluid on the the inside and outside for total cleanliness.
Buy a disinfectant for your vibrators, again from adult toy stores and soak your toy in for a little while. After you have left for a couple of minutes rinse thoroughly and then dry with a towel or clean dry wash cloth.
Lastly, after making sure your toy is clean and ready to be put away, store your vibrators somewhere cool and dark, like a drawer or wardrobe, or even under the bed (not if you have pets that like to rummage!) To keep them cool and in great working order. You pay good money for your vibrators and experience wonderful pleasure from them, so to look after them properly is a worthy action on your part to keep them buzzing happily for a long time to come!